Tuesday, August 23, 2011

im very frusturated.

frusturated doesnt look like its spelled right, ahhh. okay well danny started school today, and while im super doooper happy that hes in school again, because the sooner he graduates the sooner we live together...well hes going back to his old school, which is where all of his friends have been. when alex was a few weeks old he was telling me that he doesnt want his old friends back because they wouldnt be a good influence, most of them were drug addicts or whatever. he didnt hangout with the greatest people, drinking and what not. but all of a sudden yesterday..he told me hes going to try to get some of his old friends back. i just kinda bit my tounge..i just said okay. and he gave me permission to get some guy friends. like what the hell, i dont need permission. if i wanted guy friends i could have them. and now hes been in school for 4 hours and only texted me a few times. he knew today was a big day for me and hasnt even congradulated me on getting a 2nd job interview. i just dont get it. maybe im overreacting but he texted me all last year while he was at school. i guess hes probably too busy with his NEW bestfriends that im not important. at least thats how it feels to me. well you know what, when i go to the fair with my new bestfriend today, maybe ill just friggen ignore him and see how he likes it. yeah right, hed freak out. and god, i just dont understand. why does he want to make friends when he knows that after he graduates were going off to bigger and better things. i only have one friend right now and hes going to get like 30 over night. and i trust him, but whats going to happen when he finds girl friends and whatever. i dont think hed cheat on me, but i dont trust stupid pretty girls. it just downs my self esteem like a million, but i could never tell him any of this. god, i just wannt to figure out what to do. i cant even be excited about getting my job because i just feel worthless now. like im 2nd best to his new friends that hes making. why cant he just be here. i feel like an idiot crying but seriously...wouldnt you be upset?

please dont forget me:(

No comments:

Post a Comment