Wednesday, October 26, 2011

i just dont get it.

why is life so hard for me and my family as others are buying 5 cars that they are never going to drive all at once and never going to need. i wish i had a car and  money and a house and a million other things. i got called trailer trash today. i got called an ugly bitch dumbass today for trying to stand up for the person who i have grown closest to that isnt my family. and then i got denied to go to renis birthday party. I AM FUMING. im trying to be a good person and do everything right. but that doesnt seem to matter now. all that seems to matter is EVERYTHING BESIDES ME. nobody cares that im stressed out, or that i need things too. my sister just lost her job with christmas two months away. im afraid to start my job and honestly i dont think its worth it, but whatever that was decided for me yesterday. gosh, this parenting thing isnt easy. i dont want to do my schoolwork or anything such as. i just want to be done with EVERYTHING. GOD. i dont understand i dont i dont i dont. why cant i just be happy for once. why cant their be a day when i can wake up and have danny be here and help me with breakfast and alex. then i could do some schoolwork, take a shower and a nap. get ready and go to work and then after work go do something fun. i just dont get it. i have lost almost all faith in myself and everyone around me. how am i supposed to do this?

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